biggest outfit failures at UHD

Okay so, with a brand new semester upon us..I've noticed a bunch of people having difficulties dressing to impress like they're supposed to do.

Let's begin from the ground up discussing sneakers..man there's a lot to discuss.

First of all, i don't know how many times I've said this but, JORDANS FUCKING SUCK. All these guys who walk around wearing their Cement 3's and their Flint 13's and all the other stupid ass bullshit need to return them asap. How can you honestly think you're the hottest shit on the face of the earth when everyone has those fucking shoes? You're an idiot! Every corner I turn brings more dumbasses sitting down in their gay pride group mean mugging everyone like they're the cool kids. You're a faggot..you and your buddies are probably gonna drop out and i'll just laugh at you and your wardrobe malfunctions.

Learn from Drake..he made the mistake of wearing these hideous FAKE Jordans..lmao. Drake..you shoulda stayed in that wheelchair brah..save yourself from needing to buy fake sneakers. Plus, your haircut sucks and your eyebrows are like fuzzy caterpillars.

Also, extremely tight jeans are not cool. You know the ones you see at Urban Outfitters? The EXTREMELY tight ones? I saw a kid wearing some that looked like they had been through hell and back..you're cutting off the circulation to your poor little legs man. It looks like you just wrapped saran wrap around your legs..they look like fatass turkey legs ready to be shipped to a festival or an amusement park. Very amusing. The jaws of life will soon be needed to pry you out of them.

And stop wearing Vans fag.

As for the ladies..I have never seen so many god damn chola looking girls in my life!! We are not in Compton bitch..stop greasing up your hair and wearing dickies with a wife beater and chucks. Also, remove those infinite layers of make-up..it's clogging your pours and you're going to have bad acne. Is that what you want? BAD ACNE!? Motherfucking Cholas and their malnourished Mexican boyfriends..tall tees are done man..stop wearing them. AND NO, that doesn't mean to upgrade to Ecko or fucking Sean John because I know that was your next choice! Just buy a simple little polo shirt from Banana Republic or something..then you will no longer look like "Little Yogi".

SOUTHSIDE HOLMES.
That's just a few little things I've noticed in these last 2 days..please, if you know someone who is having trouble getting with the program, refer them to this post. They will be eternally grateful. Or they might wanna bust a "cap" in my "culo".

I will be documenting other outfit failures as the welcome week continues, so stay posted! I'll make an example out of you.