annoying little things pt. 2

You know all those little insignificant occurrences that seem to sort of change your mood for a bit? Like little problems you face throughout your day that really won't make a major impact on your life, but still annoy you? Like when you have had a long rough day filled with eating everything in your path and you decide to take a relaxing little dump..but as you are sitting there in a state of ecstasy/orgasm, you realize there is no toilet paper in the bathroom. You begin to panic and you soon become helpless..a million thoughts are flying through your brain and you begin to form a plot. Your choices are either to run out of the bathroom bare ass and accidentally moon your entire family as they sit at the dinner table..or use a towel. I really hope you choose the first choice because using a towel is absolutely disgusting. Once you moon your entire family and finally wipe your little bottom, all your problems seem to fade into the background and you are once again blissful.

Or like when you wake up in the morning or afternoon..whatever..and you pour a hefty bowl of cereal only to be let down by the lack of milk in the fridge. Why don't we ever check if there's milk before we pour a colossal mountain of cereal? I always fuck up..it happens so often! There's usually a bunch of other random ass liquids in my house that I consider like.."oh, hmm, maybe vodka will taste good with it.." But no, it usually will just make you vomit. I usually just resort to eating my cereal like chips..it's pretty lame..but it's definitely better than pouring it back into the bag. Pouring it back into the bag can be very messy and takes forever! Fuck that cereal! Just eat it dry! Or you could try it out with vodka if you're a trooper. Don't let it escape its inevitable fate of being chewed on to death. That's pretty annoying..

How about when you are really excited to bake some cookies or cinnamon rolls or whatever you're into, and you start preheating the oven but then realize you forgot to take all the pots and pans out of it. That's the worst!! I'm not sure about everyone else, but we store excess pots and pans in the oven in my house because we have no room anywhere else..once I realize I forgot to remove the pots and pans, the temperature is around 300 degrees and those pots and pans are fucking hot. Next I gotta fucking open the oven door and face the brutal heat..nearly burning my huge eyebrows completely off. Next time I should just eat a bag of tuna instead of baking some cookies and going through all that trouble!

Or like whenever you're driving and someone is totally on your dick right behind you. Do they think if they nearly crash into you, you'll speed up? If I could, I would slam on the fucking brakes and let them crash into me. Teach them a fucking lesson. I usually slow down and force them to switch lanes..then I speed up and make some intense eye contact for a few seconds..it's really intense. I fucking hate those people..I swear I need to start carrying grenades on me while I drive..or maybe like throwing knives or some shit.