annoying little things pt. 3

I think it's annoying when i'm at work..and kids run up to me and scoop my boob and say "SCOOP". Who created this game? I swear..only the fat little mexican kids play this game..I don't understand the logic behind the game..but they seem to love "scooping" so I just let it be. Yes children, scoop my boob. Go ahead. I think I should conduct a study on this scooping phenomenon to fully grasp the logic of it..maybe they're on to something. Does anyone remember playing this game? I think I slightly remember..

OH! Wow..ladies and gentlemen, we have a breakthrough..I seem to have found the definition of the scooping game..here you go guys! "When you cup your hand put at the bottom of the chest and lift up. Usually males do this to males, in a non-homosexual way, or girls can do it guys, but if a male were ever to think of doing it to a girl, make sure you have their permission. You will be prosecuted for sexual harassment without their consent." Lol I love the last part..sounds like a cop typed that definition.

I hate it when I buy a nice pack of gum, and my ass squishes them together. Also, I hate it when people fucking attack me for gum! What the fuck! Do I look like a vending machine? I guess it's only right when people ask for a piece of gum and I pull out some sweaty ass gum. Sorry to everyone who has asked me for gum..you probably tasted a bit of my ass. It's alright though..at least it was delicious. Some people actually ask me for gum, then they see it..and they're like..oh...........yeah....never mind man. It hurts my feelings..so please just suck it up and chew my booty gum..OR DON'T ASK.

I think it's very unpleasant when drug dealers who I don't even associate with constantly text me about what kind of weed they just bought..I DON'T FUCKING CARE. I swear, all the names are just so stupid..wtf is Atomic Northern Lights? Why would I want to smoke atomic marijuana? That shit sounds stupid man. Why the fuck would weed be atomic? Stop texting me all these random ass made up weed names..maybe if you just texted me something like, "Greetings possible customer, I have purchased some excellent marijuana and it gets you just as high as all the other shit I've ever had.." I would actually consider buying some..but fuck all that made up name bullshit.

That guy is definitely not smoking any atomic bullshit..he's like, "Well I reckon! You guys wanna puff the magic dragon?"

I think it's really gross and slightly annoying when girls have hairy armpits. Ever since I can remember, girls have been very good with their armpits and keeping them under control..but it has come to my attention that some girls have absolutely no shame! I don't mean to rain on your hairy armpit parade ladies..but it's really not that cool when your armpits look like chewbacca. Hairy armpits lead to smelly armpits..then you're gonna smell like a wet dog. My advice to you is..wear long sleeve clothing if you are going for that natural look..it's gross.

Oh my God. Her armpit looks like my beard..also, hairy armpit girl..whoever did your bangs FUCKED YOUR SHIT UP!

dear bitch at the courthouse clerk office

First of all..you are a fat and ugly piece of shit. I don't know why you give me attitude every single time I ask you a simple question. For example..the form you requested from me came filled out. When I asked you if I was supposed to turn it in like that, you told me yes. Then you told me no..then you told me it was up to me. WTF. "Well, you can turn it in however you want. *smack smack* (eating chicken) It all depends on the impression you want to make on the judge. *smack smack*" SHUT YOUR FAT ASS UP. They don't fucking pay you to sit your enormous fat ass on that poor chair all day just so you can fuck everyone over with your fucking retarded ass psychological statements. You obviously don't know shit about anything except fried chicken.

I guess you just take all of your sexual frustration out on all the innocent souls of the people who visit your God forsaken clerk desk. It's not right..you are really ruining peoples lives..similar to how fried chicken and donuts have ruined yours. You're ugly. I hope you cry at night every time you run out of food at your house. Put a fucking lock on your refrigerator! Throw away the fucking key while you're at it..and invest in a fucking P90X. Nobody will ever go near your obtuse vagina if you keep acting like Ursula from Little Mermaid.

Spooky! You literally look just like that..so cool your jets vile beast.

Thanks to you..my license is suspended and it will stay that way for 6 months. THANKS URSULA. I hate you. By the way, I think I might be making a new blog soon..for financial reasons. R.I.P. Business Casual