annoying little things pt. 2

You know all those little insignificant occurrences that seem to sort of change your mood for a bit? Like little problems you face throughout your day that really won't make a major impact on your life, but still annoy you? Like when you have had a long rough day filled with eating everything in your path and you decide to take a relaxing little dump..but as you are sitting there in a state of ecstasy/orgasm, you realize there is no toilet paper in the bathroom. You begin to panic and you soon become helpless..a million thoughts are flying through your brain and you begin to form a plot. Your choices are either to run out of the bathroom bare ass and accidentally moon your entire family as they sit at the dinner table..or use a towel. I really hope you choose the first choice because using a towel is absolutely disgusting. Once you moon your entire family and finally wipe your little bottom, all your problems seem to fade into the background and you are once again blissful.

Or like when you wake up in the morning or afternoon..whatever..and you pour a hefty bowl of cereal only to be let down by the lack of milk in the fridge. Why don't we ever check if there's milk before we pour a colossal mountain of cereal? I always fuck up..it happens so often! There's usually a bunch of other random ass liquids in my house that I consider like.."oh, hmm, maybe vodka will taste good with it.." But no, it usually will just make you vomit. I usually just resort to eating my cereal like chips..it's pretty lame..but it's definitely better than pouring it back into the bag. Pouring it back into the bag can be very messy and takes forever! Fuck that cereal! Just eat it dry! Or you could try it out with vodka if you're a trooper. Don't let it escape its inevitable fate of being chewed on to death. That's pretty annoying..

How about when you are really excited to bake some cookies or cinnamon rolls or whatever you're into, and you start preheating the oven but then realize you forgot to take all the pots and pans out of it. That's the worst!! I'm not sure about everyone else, but we store excess pots and pans in the oven in my house because we have no room anywhere else..once I realize I forgot to remove the pots and pans, the temperature is around 300 degrees and those pots and pans are fucking hot. Next I gotta fucking open the oven door and face the brutal heat..nearly burning my huge eyebrows completely off. Next time I should just eat a bag of tuna instead of baking some cookies and going through all that trouble!

Or like whenever you're driving and someone is totally on your dick right behind you. Do they think if they nearly crash into you, you'll speed up? If I could, I would slam on the fucking brakes and let them crash into me. Teach them a fucking lesson. I usually slow down and force them to switch lanes..then I speed up and make some intense eye contact for a few seconds..it's really intense. I fucking hate those people..I swear I need to start carrying grenades on me while I drive..or maybe like throwing knives or some shit.

FUCK YOU MIRANDA

LMFAO..are you fucking serious? What the fuck is going on with those lips of yours? You actually think you're cool singing/rapping whatever the fuck..you sound like fucking Mario from Mario Brothers. Your lips look like oversized gummy candies..your eyebrows are fucking retarded..and your voice sucks.

Nobody gives a fuck if you don't curse..go to hell. You are terrible..I don't know why you put a hat on either..you look fucking retarded. Was it part of your gangster alter ego? It sucked. I can tell she was one of those annoying ass girls who took Drama and always thought everyone loved her. Well, now you're all over the internet and known as the girl who made THE WORST version of this song. Fuck your shows..nobody is gonna go bitch. I really hope you were kidding about it selling out..I think making this video ruined your career if you ever had one. Lmao.

YOU SUCK!!!

Lmao..listen to the part where she says "Let's GOOOOO.." She sounds like Mario..lol dumbass girl.

facebook isn't for that

People always seem to drag their personal business into facebook without realizing that nobody gives a shit. It seems like there is constantly some lost soul updating their status about how much they hate someone, how much they love someone, or just how into themselves they are. You're a douche..stop thinking facebook is your fucking diary and you're allowed to spill all your emotions into it. Fuck that! Just because you think you're in love with your boyfriend who probably finds it annoying as fuck that you post cupcake shit like that, doesn't mean you have to share it with the world. Nobody cares..really. People will soon begin to delete you. Start a blog or something instead of torturing your "friends" with your stupid status updates.

Look at that annoying ass girl..here's a list of a few stupid ass status updates I saw today..no worries, everything will be kept anonymous.

Warning, what you are about to read is stupid as fuck:

"I made a wish and you came true" <--- shut that gay shit up

"When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you… When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you… When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you… Now that I love you, I’m afraid to lose you." <--- oh lord..please spare me. You are not in a fucking movie..there is no need to talk that way. You are not in fucking Sex and the City..shut that shit up.

Okay enough with that cupcake shit..let's move on to the depressed people who just seem to pour their emotions out to facebook. I have some advice..instead of crying and abusing your poor facebook wall with lame ass statuses, go get fucking high. Go get high and just laugh.

Look at what a great time she's having! That could be you! Stop crying over the internet and go get some weed! You NEED it. Let's go over some of these pathetic statuses that people have no shame in sharing.

"You'll never know...so many emotions I choose not to show.." <--- WE DON'T WANNA KNOW. START A BLOG.

"I screw up every good thing I ever try to do. I was born to lose." <--- Saying shit like that..you will soon loose all your friends and you'll still be a loser. I'm sorry man..I wish I could sympathize for you.

Please, if you're gonna learn anything from this..just remember to keep your personal life to yourself. Go talk to a psychiatrist or some shit..I highly doubt your friends wanna hear that shit..unless they're all psychiatrists? Highly doubt it though. Go smoke.

back then hoes didn't want me

When I was younger, I was a fat hairy boy. Boys and girls both bullied me because I was not exactly one of the cool kids. After losing some weight and growing a stylish beard thing, girls started coming around trying to holler. I don't know why, but I held a grudge all these years and I wish I could name all the bitches who taunted me in my youth..but I won't (because they aren't even important). Maybe that's why I talk so much shit about girls..because they thought i'd be a fat jelly roll forever! Well NO! You're the fat ones now..you're the ugly ones now. You are pregnant now hoe. Your life sucks!! YOU ARE UGLY. Ugly bitches..don't come around and try to be friendly..I remember nobody ever wanted to play volleyball with me..NOW i'm a volleyball SUPERSTAR HOE! (on wednesdays only..at McGlendon Park. COME GET SHIT ON)

That's me spiking the ball into your stupid face. MAXIMUM POWER.

Remember when we had to square dance in middle school? Yeah..I wasn't very good..and nobody ever chose to dance with me. BUT NOW, I will break yo muthafuckin ass OFF at your favorite club..in front of all your friends. Little square dancer boy grew up to be a young Micheal Jackson!

This is me and my cats breakin' boys off at the club..fuck how you feel!

Remember I used to dress really weird? Like a foreign kid with no style? I used to wear black shoes with white socks and Hawaiian shorts..well..it's still kinda like that sometimes..but at least i'm not a stupid pregnant bitch! Ahahahahaha..IN YO FACE. Remember I wore Looney Tune converse knock off shoes? And sketchers and ugly shit like that while you all wore Nikes and shit? Well now i'm wearing Nikes you will never have AHAHAHA! IN YO FACE!!

So please..if you were ever a bitch to me..even if it was long ago, i'm not going to forget. Save yourself some time and just don't add me on facebook..because i'm a stupid fat hairy kid, remember?

Thanks to anyone who was nice to me as a child..throughout adolescence, and now. Thank you. You are a true friend.

annoying little things

I seem to let the little things in life bug me the most. Those little things really stir me up and get deep under my skin. For example, my stepfather eats like a fucking horse..you know, he smacks, he sucks, he makes all these loud ass noises I can hear all the way from my room..even with the door closed. I think if you're gonna fucking eat noisily, you just don't deserve to eat. What's wrong with closing your mouth while you chew? You're not a fucking horse! Didn't anyone teach you how to eat properly?

I hate it when there is no reason to drive slow but everyone seems to be doing it just to piss me off! I feel the need to purchase a rocket launcher in the near future to avoid any difficulties I may have while driving. The AC in my car ran out..so I gotta drive around with the windows down. I DON'T WANNA STOP! Please be considerate and get the fuck out of my way..or I won't hesitate on exploding your car next time.

I don't like it when people abuse animals..you deserve to get your skin shredded off with a cheese grater. Same goes for homeless people with pets..I think that's fucking retarded. If you're homeless..how the hell are you going to raise a pet!? I don't think that poor animal can survive eating a slice of cheese per day. Please make some better decisions!

I hope this lady gets eaten by her hungry dogs..they look depressed. How the hell are you going to own 5 dogs and also be homeless!?

Another thing is when those random ass people wearing those bright colored vest things in the streets ask for money. I don't give a fuck about the rehab program you're in..I don't wanna talk to you. Don't come to my car holding a penny and showing it to me like I don't know what you mean. I know it's a penny..you holding it up and making weird faces is not going to donate anything. Dumb..

I hate those guys who wear vans and a vest with a v-neck shirt under and think they're so fly! Not to mention those fucking hats..the ones that look like a boat hat or some shit..you look like fucking Bruno Mars. Is that really who you wanna look like? Chill out..your style is lame. You look gay. You grab the attention of dumbass girls. Nothing to be proud of..go watch Jersey Shore and listen to some Bruno Mars. Bruno Mars sucks by the way..just thought i'd throw that in there.

That's about it..i'm sure there are more annoying things to discuss..but as of right now, my stomach hurts and I think i'm ready to poop.Farewell. Here's a new mix I put together yesterday..give it a listen and let me know what you think. ALSO, why doesn't anyone comment on here!? Bitches

Vital for the Summer mix by disco daddies

swizz beatz sucks

Okay so, Swizz Beatz is probably among the top most annoying people in the rap industry fighting for the number one spot against DJ Khaled, Soulja Boy, and Jermaine Dupri..and everything all those guys say is stupid as fuck. But aside from their random ass lyrics, Swizz Beatz stands out because he looks like a fucking meerkat.

Swizzy!

 

Swizz Beatz and his family hanging out on the set of Meerkat Manor. Catch the new season on Animal Planet!

"Thumbs up if you're a meerkat!"

Rare picture I found online of Swizz Beatz when he was in high school. Much hasn't changed.

lmao stupid ass kanye

Check out this video of Kanye West busting his cocky ass. ENJOY!




Kanye fuckin' up..big ass jaw lookin' ass. I'm tired of hearing about this Watch the Throne bullshit..I hope he was fucking embarrassed.

weird ass nigga...